Works

McSweeneys

A Letter from the New Corporate Owners of Hooper’s Store

Courses I Wish My College Had Offered

The 27 Levels of Compatibility I’m Looking For

I’m Reasonably Confident I Would Beat Ken Jennings in These Jeopardy! Categories

Newspaper Articles & Columns

An Evening with Anthony Bourdain

Trips With Dad on the Road of Life

One Nation Under Fireworks

A Rap to My Rap Snacks (Yes, I actually wrote this)

Other Media

Iceberg Ahoy; A One-Act Play

My Christmas Movie Script that Hallmark and Lifetime Turned Down.

A Christmas Treat

I actually think it is pretty good but Hallmark does not accept spec scripts and Lifetime was not interested in a Christmas movie with a middle-aged male protagonist. You can option it today!